38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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