Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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