Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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