I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
