Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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