found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
