think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
