Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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