We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
