You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
