when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There r osticjed everywhere
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
