Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
