She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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