So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
