Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
