if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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