in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
