Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
