I'm so fucking centered right now
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
