I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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