Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize