I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
