Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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