Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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