Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize