all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
