I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
