Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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