oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
