quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
