Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
