So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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