I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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