Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
it's great music for shaving your balls
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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