He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
