I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize