Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
