Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
