Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
