Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I want a musical about memes.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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