Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
