if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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