somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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