That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
