u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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