So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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