Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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