why didn't you poke me back
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
