Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
