White coat. Heels.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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