1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
