I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
