If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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