Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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