I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
