i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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