she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
