Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
