Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I checked into jail on foursquare
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
