Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Still dying that you shit outside
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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