i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
