For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
