I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
