He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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