She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
