I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
