can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
