Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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