he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
