Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
