Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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