So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize